Updated: Aug 13
Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement. —Golda Meir
One of the major features which hold us back from achieving our goals and desires is the lack of self-confidence which further leads to the fear of failure. With confidence, you can break through the wall of fear and emerge out as an amazing personality. Confidence is not like the shape of your nose or the color of your eyes, which is gifted by the god, but it is like the skin which you develop over time, a skill which you can develop with constant dedication and practice.
Today I’m going to tell you 5 effective tips to have self-confidence and self-esteem. Let’s get into them!
1. Don’t Compare, Be Self-Aware
One of the biggest roadblocks in the path of becoming a confident person is when you start comparing yourself with others. You would have heard of the saying- ‘Comparison Kills Contentment’. When we compare ourselves with others and our motive is to improve ourselves and get inspired, it is great. But if that comparison leads to self-criticism, it becomes toxic. Don’t compare yourself with others but rather focus on yourself. Focus all your energy on becoming a better version of yourself. Be self-aware. Know your strengths and weaknesses. Know the things that you’re good at and things that you should improve. Also, know the things that you cannot change about yourself and be okay with that. So, don’t be self-critical and so hard on yourself. Instead, be self-analytical, know about yourself, and just befriend yourself. That is the first step in becoming a confident person.
2. Don’t Doubt Yourself, Trust Yourself
Before starting anything, everyone has self-doubts. We keep questioning ourselves- ‘How will I do this?’ Or ‘Will I be able to do this?’, and many more such questions. It is another journey of getting rid of all these self-doubts, improve with time, and start trusting ourselves. This is what I want you to take away from this point. Start trusting yourself. Don’t doubt yourself so much. It happens to everyone that we want to start something new but we couldn’t just because we think we don’t have the right potential to do that task or we are not good enough.
Well, doubts are inevitable, everyone has them. But initially, you have to trust yourself and understand that even if you fail, you’re going to learn something. But just have faith in yourself. Doubts are toxic. If you won’t trust yourself, who will?
3. Don’t Be Scared, Face Your Fears
How many times has this happened to you that you are in the classroom and the teacher asks a question, you know the exact answer but you still don’t raise your hand and answer it? People say ‘knowledge is power’ and even though you knew the answer and had the knowledge you still didn’t raise your hand and answered the question. You know why? Because that is where our comfort zone ends. We are scared of other people judging us and their opinion about us. Keep in mind, fear and confidence cannot co-exist. You surely would have heard ‘Darr ke aage jeet hai’. If fear prevails, it clouds the self-confidence and if there is confidence, there is no space for fear at all.
The best way to get rid of your fears is to get out of your comfort zone, little by little, but challenge yourself and push your boundaries. Don’t be afraid of failure or other people’s opinions and judgments. Just get out and kill your fear.
4. Mock Confidence
Confidence is like cooking. You can go through the recipe and the ingredients written, but unless you perform it you cannot be good at it. The best example of mocking confidence is public speaking or performing on stage. Even the best of speakers and performers feel nervous and anxious before going on stage. Initially, they do have to mock confidence to get confidence naturally. Similarly, in any awkward or uncomfortable situation where you feel nervous, constantly remind yourself that it is okay to be nervous, but grow out of that emotion, mock that initial confidence in yourself. Constantly remind yourself that everyone sitting in this room is a human being after all and probably experiencing the same emotion as you. So mock your confidence.
5. Build your outer confidence
In all the previous points I have discussed improving confidence on the inside, how we can get rid of the fear, nervousness, and anxiety, and improve our self-confidence internally. But there is something called the outer confidence that I’m a big believer of. I feel that you can consciously do things on the outside that will help contribute confidence on the inside. For example, if you’re going for an important meeting or a performance, wearing your favorite dress, or that black t-shirt that fits you well, it actually helps you boost your self-confidence.
So next time you go to an important occasion that requires you to be confident, don’t forget to have a routine like wearing your favorite t-shirt or saying a prayer that makes you feel all empowered. All these little things eventually help you develop your self-confidence.
Discovering how to be self-confident isn’t an overnight process – it surely takes time. By changing how you present yourself physically and what things you focus on mentally, you can build confidence that will help you aim toward your goals.
Tips which you can practice to attain self-confidence:
1. Write good things about yourself. Whenever you’re feeling low or anxious, take a look at this list of things. It will surely boost you up.
2. Set goals to achieve day by day. You don’t have to be in a rush. You can take one step at a time. Start small. Set a realistic goal for each day and mark your progress.
3. Look at things from different perspectives. Whenever you feel like you are not able to do something, try finding other ways to do it. Soon you will realize that it was not that difficult and achievable.
4. Keep smiling and maintain eye contact. Whenever you’re in a meeting or on stage, do remember to keep looking into their eyes. This will show your confidence and others will find ease in interacting with you.
5. Keep preparing and practicing. Try talking to yourself loudly while looking into the mirror. Whether it is an upcoming meeting or speech delivery, keep practicing and it will surely boost your confidence.
6. Workout regularly. Exercising helps you keep your mind active and retain more memory. It relaxes your body which ultimately leads to no stress. It will help in increasing your confidence.
Till then, this is Tanvi signing off :)
Stay True, Stay You, Stay Confident!